HAPPY [REDACTED] BIRTHDAY LARISSA! OUR MARCH 2023 ANTIGUA TRIP DAY 5

Aw yeah folks. Day 5! And you know what Day 5 is?

Day 5 is…alive!!!

Day 5 had all kinds of stuff going on.

Food.

Drinks.

Pigs.

Murder.

…

…

OK fine. No murder. But the other things.

Let’s get on with it…

Our March 2023 Antigua trip to celebrate Larissa: Day 5

Wow so Day 5. The first picture I have of Day 5 is tagged as being taken at 9:15AM.

We obviously slept in, I guess.

I mean, the picture is of the girls in the golf cart heading to breakfast.

So obvs squad we didn’t wake up at 9:15 with all the showering and getting ready and what not but still. I have legit no idea how the day began. Let’s go ahead and assume I solved something like world hunger or a Rubik’s Cube using only my feet.

The point is at 9:15AM we were in our golf carts heading to breakfast.

(see golf cart picture above)

And breakfast today, as with most things we did this week, was about a 10-minute golf cart ride away. This time around, we were eating at Petal’s Café. Which was a little place located where I am pretty sure 95% of all restaurants in Jolly Harbour are located. Like, 5 of the restaurants we tried this week were within mere feet of one another. And none of this I say as some sort of complaint. I’ve always said distance is the enemy of eating.

I have. I’ve always said that.

We were seated in the covered seating area. Which was nice because it was hot out and what not. But we ended up finding out later in the meal that Chris was seated directly below an air conditioner and that resulted in him getting dripped on throughout the meal. But I am pretty sure he didn’t let us know this was happening until the meal was over.

Chris was the hero of the day. Is what I am telling you now.

The other hero of the day? This little cookie that comes standard when you order a coffee at Petal’s.

I mean, coffee is obviously great but when a restaurant serves a little cookie alongside it? It’s like, “oh ok, I see you restaurant. You know me.”

Being that (a) I was on vacation and (b) I have an alcohol problem, I also ordered a beer to complement my coffee.

Breakfast.

Beer.

Best.

And in staying with that healthy mindset, we started with a fruit plate for the table.

And yeah, man. That fruit plate included some avocado. Petal’s. They really know how to plus shizz up.

A couple of us got The Brit (an English Back Bacon & Egg Sandwich).

Which led us all to Google what back bacon is.

BTW – back bacon is literally bacon from the back of the pig. It’s a cut of pork loin from the back of the pig that sometimes includes pork belly.

It was good is what I am meaning.

Nickie ordered the French Toast with Bananas and Strawberries.

She got the French Toast with Bananas and Watermelon.

Which is, like…which is a thing I’ve never thing’ed before.

Tony went ahead and marched to the beat of his own drum again and ordered the Breakfast Roti (Bacon, Cheese, Peppers, Sausage, and Eggs wrapped in a Roti Skin).

He seemed like not the biggest fan of such a thing. He said it wasn’t exactly what he expected.

But get ready you guys. Because here come the stars of the table.

Look.

At.

All.

These.

French.

Fries.

You see, I ordered a side of fries with my sandwich which also inspired Larissa and Chris to do the same. And all three orders came out together like some sort of dream I once had.

I’d say breakfast at Petal’s was hit-or-miss. I really liked my sandwich for sure and I think everyone that got that sandwich enjoyed it. But the Roti and the choice to pair French Toast with watermelon were both a bit off-putting.

But the fries, guys. The fries.

After breakfast, it was time to ditch the golf cart for more traditional road transport. Because our destination this morning was like all kinds of far away. Which meant it was time for us to all put our lives in Tony’s hands. It was quite exciting.

Today, we were heading to Pigs in Paradise, which I know…sounds like a Muppets skit. But it’s actually a place where you can go swim. In the ocean. With piggies.

It all sounds like some sort of porcine fever dream. But we were there for it.

And not only was this obviously an idea hatched in the mind of a madman, but it was also super hard to reach. As you can see on their “how to find us” page, the journey there wasn’t all that straightforward.

Rather than simply type in “pigs in paradise” into our GPS, we had to enter the longitude and latitude.

Like our forefathers did.

And yeah, I know. That image only says it would take 15 minutes. So what’s the big deal, right?

Well, first off, Tony took every drive in Antigua…erm…cautiously. And rightfully so. I mean, not only was he on the other side of the car on the other side of the road but these roads were treacherous AF. Potholes like whoa.

And secondly, that whole longitude latitude situation only took us part of the way. Once we got to that point, we then had to turn onto this dirt road and use the video provided on the website to get us the rest of the way to the Seaforth Beach. Which felt a lot like the beginning of one of those horror movies where the villain lures unknowing tourists to a remote location to torture them and harvest their organs.

So yeah. Let’s go guys!

This doesn’t look menacing at all.

But guys. Today wasn’t all pork. There was beef too.

Holy cow.

This sign did little to calm any fears.

But it was a pretty drive. High anxiety. But pretty.

Based on timestamps, it looks like the dirt road drive from the turn-off took about 20 minutes. But at least it felt longer.

When we got there though? Worth it. Because I mean….

The team running this whole show were finishing up with another group when we got there so we were instructed to wait off to the side while they…well, while they finished up.

There was a swing there. Which a lot of people use to swing. We, however, see everything as a photo prop.

So we snapped some pics of Tony and Larissa.

And Nikki and Chris.

Also, while we were off waiting, we did have some visitors.

And they were like real interested in what we had in our bag.

It was alcohol beeteedubz. There was alcohol in the bag.

But soon enough, those other folks headed out and it was time to get our pig on, mofos.

We were invited to sit at the picnic tables while our team let us know what to expect during our times with the piggies. I mean, at least I think that’s what was going on. I was too preoccupied with this situation at our table.

Snacks, you guys. Those Big 4 cookies were Leh. Git.

They also had beers and soft drinks and what not in a cooler for us to enjoy. Which was a nice touch. On account of I like beer. Which I am not sure I’ve ever mentioned on here before. I know. You guys are always learning new things about me.

I’m a sharer.

As we were sitting there, our pig friends came out to join us. And a couple of them went straight to the ocean.

The swimming took place a little ways down the beach. Past this cutie.

The Pigs in Paradise team then handed out bottles to all of us with which to lead our pigs into the water. And you guys. Look. Look at these piggies.

They also gave us some food for them. And they seemed to like the food.

On account of, I mean. Come on. They’re pigs.

But the food wasn’t just to make the pigs be best friends with us. It was also to get them up on this raft situation out in the middle of the water.

And the plan was for them to all jump into the water. Which I guess they do usually? I dunno. Cuz these guys were like, “uh, no thanks.”

Also guys. Look what we did.

Pig whisperers. That’s what they call us.

After all was finished in the water, we raced the pigs back to the picnic tables.

The pigs won.

Which is why they were able to be featured in the foreground of this picture and we were relegated to the back.

Like the losers we were.

No seriously. The team offered to take pictures of us with the pigs. Unfortunately, the only one I have is of me and Nickie above. I do, however, have pictures I took of everyone else getting their picture taken.

Which is like pretty much the same.

Except worse.

Next up were the piglets!!!!!111

Omigosh.

I can’t even.

We even got to hold them.

Look at this cutie.

Such a handsome little guy. AND he’s holding a pig.

But seriously. That little guy I was holding there? Poo’ed all over my shirt and bathing suit. Like all down my right side.

Pig poo.

All part of the experience. Sorry.

All part of the exPOOrience.

Because poo.

After all that, the piggies were led away and we sat back down at the picnic tables as our team quizzed us on all things piggish. There were different categories focused on general stuff we learned today, the names of the pigs we hung out with, and pig pop culture.

And like, two members of our group won a round. When we were challenged to remember the names of the pigs we saw today, we went round and round the group naming pigs. If you couldn’t remember any more names, you were out. And so it went until there was one person left.

And that one person? Larissa. She never forgets a pig name.

She has a pork-o-graphic memory.

And during the pop culture round, I don’t wanna toot my own horn. But of course I also do want to toot my own horn.

I killed it. Killed. It.

And the prizes? Wine. Yeah, we won two bottles of wine for our porcine prowess.

Or should I say we won some S’wine.

Get it? Swine?

Because pigs.

Everything wrapped up at around 2:45 and off we went, back down the murder road.

And great news everyone. We made it back completely alive. Nice job, Tony!

When we got back to the villa, the crew put together this situation using stuff we had in the kitchen.

Isn’t she a beauty? Charcuterie? More like Charcut-for-ME.

I know. It’s incredible how I maintain such a high level of humor in every single post.

After I fueled myself up with various meats and cheeses and avocados, I used all that energy to take the kayak out. I grabbed a Red Stripe and hit the water.

I call that photo “Just the tip.”

Because of the kayak.

But yeah, it was another beautiful day out on the water.

I ended up taking myself over to the beach across the way again.

And just like last time, I freaked myself out.

I got out of the kayak, took a dip in the water, and started thinking I was being watched and the watcher was just waiting for me to get far enough into the water so they could steal my kayak and leave me for dead.

My dip didn’t last all that long. Is what I am saying to you now.

When I got back to our beach, it was time once again to watch the sunset show. Join me, won’t you?

And once the sun had said goodbye for the night, it was time to go get ready for dinner. Because tonight was a special one on account of it was the official, branded “Larissa’s Birthday Dinner,” copyright 2023.

While we were out watching the sunset show, our increasingly favorite person Sira was busy getting dinner ready.

Our meal tonight started with this whole bit of lovely.

That right there is a pumpkin soup with these insanely delicious toasted pumpkin seeds floating around in it. I enjoyed this meal as a whole, but this was probably my favorite part. My soup bowl was all, “oi, you ate all me soup, yeah?. Now me’s proper empty.”

Sorry. I don’t know why my bowl has a British accent. Oh wait yes I do. Because we are in the midst of binging the entire season 9 of Love Island at the moment. And I mean, thing is like over 60 episodes. So we kind of officially live in the villa at this point.

Of course we drank wine as well.

What kind?

Oh, right?

It was um…it was red.

For our main entrée, Sira served us these big-as-your-head pieces of Chicken Cordon Bleu alongside some greens and this magical zucchini concoction where it looked like a zucchini but inside there was like cheese and what not. Like when someone would cut into one of these, it would all ooze out into this cheese puddle.

Which was a lot more appetizing than I made it sound right there.

Though eh. Actually now that I think about it, “cheese puddle” may be the most delicious sounding phrase I’ve ever written on this blog.

So good.

For dessert, Sira had the hook up. She ordered a cake from a baker she knows and yeah, this thing was pretty nice-looking.

You might even say that thing…took the cake.

Eh?

Amirite?

Inside, the cake was a standard chocolate cake with vanilla frosting. And I mean, standard is by no means a bad thing.

Tony also poured us out some glasses of the champagne we picked up on what has come to be referred to in days since as the “Seven Years at the Packie” (detailed in my Day 2 post).

Cake. Wine. Champagne. Friends.

That’s a good time right there.

Tony then led us off with a beautiful toast to Larissa and we all took turns saying a few words about what she means to us and how much we love her and all that.

And yeah, we do.

We love her.

I feel like there was SO MUCH awesome happening around that table that night, it was almost too much to take it all in. Looking back on it, I am really able to appreciate how truly great it all was and how lucky we are to be able to experience the experiences we do and to have these people in our lives.

A really great dinner.

And the night wasn’t completely over. After dinner, we took the cover off the pool table and Sira offered up that she was quite the pool player. Like, a legit pool player. She said she had won some tournaments and she had a pool cue in her car.

Which she retrieved.

And we offered up our champion, Chris, to challenge her.

And it was a close game but in the end, Chris emerged the victor. I don’t know if I’d say he smoked her, butt his game was lit.

And like, that’s all I am gonna say about that.

But yeah, you guys. That was Day 5. Pretty great stuff. Pretty great food. Pretty great pigs. And pretty great people.

Stay tuned for the last post in this series – Days 6 and 7. Until then, do whatever you want I guess.

Last post – Day 4