THE MARCH 2021 “YES, WE ACTUALLY WENT TO” BEACHES TURKS & CAICOS TRIP REPORT: DAY 2!!

Well hello there.

Welcome to Day 2 of our March 2021 Beaches Turks & Caicos trip!

And before I get to the doings-of-the-day, I know a lot of people in the Beaches Facebook group have been wondering about some stuff – What restaurants are open? What activities are they doing? Is Pluto a planet or what?

So to answer the first two questions, my super-thoughtful wife Nickie actually took some pictures on Day 2 of the restaurant and activity sheets. Note, of course, these could change from week-to-week but at least to give you and idea…

Here is the list of restaurants and what days they are open for lunch and dinner:

As mentioned, this only lists the lunch and dinner spots. The breakfast buffets are still at Mario’s in the Italian Village and Reflections in the Caribbean Village. And for a non-buffet breakfast, guests can head to Schooner’s in the Caribbean Village or Bayside in Key West. HIGHLY recommend Bayside.

As for activities, here is what was going on during the day while we were there:

And the nighttime activities:

And to think we were worried they might not have karaoke. Turns out everything was kara-OK.

Yeah, um.

I’m not happy about that pun either. Let’s just get on with it.

Beaches Turks & Caicos 2021 trip: Day 2!

Oh Day 2? It started earrrrrly. Well, I mean. For the record, Nickie was up early like every day of this trip for some reason. And not like “normal” early. Like “the birds haven’t even woken up yet” early. Maybe she was just excited. Or maybe she’s psychotic. It’s like…one of those. Either way, she’s hot.

But while she woke up super duper stuper early, she waited until like 6:30ish to start encouraging me to also get up. And we each had our own plans for these pre-civilization hours.

I’ll start with Nickie’s morning. Her plans were to walk the beach with Larissa.

Pretty.

Prettier.

Prettiest.

So basically Nickie’s plan was to have a nice, fun morning. And mine was to torture myself through a tiny bit of a hangover. On account of I decided to go for a run around the resort. I know. I’m stupid. But don’t worry. I do it a few more times….and I somehow wrangle Jeff to join me.

But this time? This time, I was solo. I did more a timed run than distance today so I just ran for about 25 minutes or so. And while I did break a sweat, these types of runs are great because I can pause to take pictures. This is how I exercise. Always looking for ways to not exercise. In my defense though, hangover.

But if you want to live through my experience, try chugging a couple of beers and then running in place while looking through the following pictures.

When I finished up, I gave Nickie a call and met up with her at the Café de Paris in the French Village.

And this made me feel all better.

Well, a little better.

Well, iced coffee.

We also grabbed some pastries for the kids back in the room. Oh, and we ran into this cute little meow-face.

Little kitton with the little cute face.

Please to follow me all over the place.

Wow. 17 pictures and over 700 words. And it’s only 7:45 AM. Buckle up, kids. This is gonna be a long one.

But yeah, it was around 8ish when we got back to the room. We woke up the kids….with pastries, so  it wasn’t as horrific as it could have been. Also, look at the day we were facing. Things could def be worse

We all showered up, got our bathing suits on and headed out to meet our peeps for b-fast. Well, most of the peeps. The Siggins were sleeping in. I believe Suzanne said to not expect them before 1pm.

Breakfast today was at Schooner’s in the Caribbean Village.

Like I said, the Siggins were sleeping in. So it was us, the Falzones, and Jeff & Sheila.

As was often the case this week, our kids table game was strong.

And for those of you wondering – no, Schooner’s does not unfortunately serve giant pink donuts. That is a Barbie float. Which is awesome, of course. Just not “giant pink donuts I can eat” awesome.

Also, good news. I took a picture of the menu.

Also, bad news. This is the only time I took a picture of the menu.

So I mean, get ready to play a lot of “Guess What Wayne Ate” at every other meal.

We of course started the meal with some Bloody Marys.

And Mimosas.

Breakfast drinks are the best kind of drinks. Well, it’s a tie actually. With evening drinks. And afternoon drinks. And shower drinks.

Right, food. To start, I split the Smoked Salmon Avocado Toast with Larissa.

This was very VERY tasty. Highly recommend. Plus, look how pretty.

Also, guys. Quick caveat. Moving forward, when I remember who got what, I will for sure call it out. But look, we had 13 people on this trip. And I was way too drunk preoccupied with having fun to take notes. So for example? I like think Larissa got this Eggs Benedict. But am I 100%? Nope.

By the by, I legit love the hash browns at Beaches. Look at those things.

Nickie ordered the French Toast, but with nothing on it. So I have little to say about it. Plain French Toast is not all that much of a muse.

A few of us got the Steak and Eggs. And you guys? I mean. This was GOOD.

If you order this, you WILL enjoy it. I’d steak my reputation on it.

After breakfast, it was right to the beach.

Well, it wasn’t right to the beach. We did have to stop at the Dive Shop to get all our floatation devices inflated.

And if you guessed the Rose Gold Flamingo was mine? You’ve obviously been paying attention.

Bur right – let’s go to the beach-each.

Surprisingly, the water actually had a bit of a chill to it. But that didn’t stop us. Nothing’s gonna stop us.

Now.

And we can build this dream together.

Standing strong forever.

Look though. So pretty.

The water looks nice too.

Everyone else had a pretty strong float game as well. Sheila’s had not only flamingos on it…but also, puppies. It likes takes two awesome things and puts them together. Which is always the best thing. Like peanut butter cups. Or that time Abed from Community showed up on Cougar Town.

And Tony and Larissa won the biggest float of the week prize with their Mermaid Tail situation.

Tony was especially fond of it.

Did we play football?

Pfft, of course we played football? Durr.

There was also a Beaches photographer nearby that snapped some pics of us. And by “us” I mean “The Falzones.”

I mean, these pictures are 100% adorbz. I get it.

Also, by “us” I also mean “us.” They did take a picture of all of us as well. So long as the Falzones were there.

How awesome is that picture? I mean, I am not sure where Myles was for it. So it’s kind of a bummer he wasn’t in it. Maybe I can paste him in there. Wait…

Better.

So yeah, the beach was super nice. And given how nice it was, we wanted to really get out there on the water so we decided to hit up the watersports shack and put our names in for a kayak. Jeff and Sheila did too.

And like, no regrets.

We got relatively far out, hit some pretty good wake at times so that was nice. And we saw a ray while we were out there. Thanks to Sheila. Because I couldn’t spot any sort of sea life on my own. I am like the opposite of Jacques Cousteau. I’m like Jacques Coust-NO.

Larissa opted for a paddleboard. And she did a pretty awesome job on it. At least better than I could do. I have trouble standing on land, sometimes.

When we finished with the more “manual labor” type of watersports, we all made the decision to relax a little more on the water and sign up for a Hobie Cat. Again, regrets were non-existent.

Well, I mean, I regret making my life jacket so tight.

It was seven of us on the Hobie – me, Nickie, Jeff, Sheila, Larissa, Tony and Mia – living her best life up there.

It was sooooo nice being out on the water. And for those wondering, there was also a Beaches employee out there with us. It’s not like we were just out there by ourselves. Stupid.

And honestly, as you’ll see in the rest of the posts, it was a red flag the rest of the week, which meant the wind kept us off the water. So definitely good we got in our watersports when we got the chance.

When we got back to the beach, it was noon…ish. So Jeff, Tony, and I walked over to the Italian pool bar. We ordered up some Dirty Bananas and Mai Tais for the crew and while we were waiting, three Kamikaze shots for ourselves, You know, for the effort.

When we got back to our beach chairs, the girls said they also ordered some Bahama Mamas from the waiter. Sooooo…double drinks. #BeachesProblems.

So for those keeping score, it was around 12:30 and I now had three different drinks in me. Things happen pretty fast at Beaches Turks & Caicos. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Mia asked if anyone would bury her legs and I wasn’t that busy. So I obliged. I also attempted to make her look like a mermaid.

Three drinks in, this was the best I could do. If you squint, it looks like a mermaid. I mean, really squint. Like to the point of where you can’t see anything.

Also, of course, me burying Mia meant I was subject to the same fate. So I laid down, closed my eyes, and prayed to God.

Tony was more than willing to help.

Look at me. I’m a mer-person.

Nickie also took a video of me emerging from the sand. Which was funny on its own. But its much funnier in slow-motion.

I mean. At least I thought it was funny.

All that being buried alive nonsense had me pretty hungry. And everyone else seemed hungry as well. The kids wanted to hit up the Mac and Cheese truck so off they went to do just that while the adults (and Mia) headed off in another direction.

Time for lunch, jerks.

Sorry, it was time for lunch at the jerk shack. My mistake.

Jerk.

Me too, Jeff and Sheila. I would also stay at the Jerk Shack literally forev….oh. Wait. You mean in Turks & Caicos in general. Yeah, me too. So did I.

We checked in at the front and were quickly seated at a shaded table outside.

We all ordered some Mama Shacks to start. Which are made with…

Erm…

…Uh.

Alcohol. They are made with alcohol.

Well, we didn’t all order Mama Shacks. Mia got a lemonade.

She was taking it easy. Pacing herself. Smart.

So for those that don’t know, the Jerk shack has all kinds of jerk stuff – jerk chicken, jerk pork, jerk fish – plus yams, festival (a cornbread fritter type thing), sweet potato fries, and corn on the cob.

And since we couldn’t really make up our mind, we just ordered four of EVERYTHING.

It was insanely good. But I would have to say my favorite (same as last time we visited) was the fish. There is a good amount of spice to it, especially when you add some sauce, but its sooooo tasty.

Now, Mia was having a hard time finding something she liked here so the boys said they would stop at Dino’s and pick her up some chicken nuggets. Those boys.

The post-lunch plan? Water park!

So off we went to the water park for some good old family fu…

Oh, wait…we need a drink.

So we stopped at the Iguana pool bar to grab some drinks to bring over to the water park. I opted for a Planter’s Punch.

Pro tip time – if you are going to the Pirate’s Island Waterpark at Beaches, I recommend you pick up a drink on the way. They don’t serve alcohol in the water park BUT you can bring drinks into the lazy river.

Drinks in hand, let’s venture into Pirate’s Island. Arrrrr you excited?

We grabbed some seats near the kiddie play area, so of course Mia made straight for it.

Also me. Me made straight for it. And I can definitely assure you the slides in the kiddie area are not that scary. Just keep your eyes closed.

We started off our adventure in the lazy river for a round and then hit the main water slides.

There are three slides in this area (and two in another that we hit another day) – a larger red slide that was closed when we were there, a yellow slide you ride down on a tube, and a blue enclosed tube body slide.

Nickie and I went down together first in a double raft on the yellow slide and guys. Guys. That thing was kind of crazy. I don’t know if it’s designed to do this on purpose but in addition to going pretty fast, you hit the water super hard so when we did it, our raft flipped completely over and Nickie ended up in front of me even though she was in the back the whole ride down. We almost died, you guys. But it was super fun.

I also went down with Jeff once. He held my feet. It was a moment.

Know what else is super fun? Mac and cheese.

Yeah yeah, I know we already ate lunch. But like my grandfather always said, “If you come across a mac and cheese truck, always ALWAYS stop.”

Jeff, Tony, and I decided to heed old Grandpa’s advice.

Tony got some mac and cheese balls…

…Jeff got the Cheeseburger Mac….

…and I opted for the Buffalo Chicken Mac.

Totally good stuff but fair warning, that chicken is super spicy. Really good, but really spicy.

And getting the mac and cheese was completely worth it. If only to see the smile on Tony’s face. Look how happy he is.

His smile lights up a whole room.

By this point, it had been at least a half hour since we were in some sort of water. So we headed over to the Cascades pool in the Caribbean Village.

So I don’t know if you can tell from that picture above, but this pool at this time of day? Not so much in the sun. So the water was a bit chilly. So while we obviously braved it to grab drinks (we are true heroes), we ended up spending the bulk of our time at the Cascades Pool in the hot tub.

By the way, in case you’re wondering, I was drinking a Tito’s and soda. Also, if you’re ever wondering what I am drinking in pics at the pool, the odds are good it was a Tito’s and soda. I would occasionally dip out for a Long Island Iced Tea, a Miami Vice, or even a Mai Tai but Tito’s and Sodas are just good day-drinking pool-drinking drink-drinking drinks.  

Also, Tony had already moved onto whiskeys on the rocks at this point. So I had to introduce the Tito’s and Soda as hydration. Because of the soda. I am a good friend.

Is it weird that I think pictures of the kids at the bar are like really cute? I feel like that makes me a bad person.

Yeah, probably a bad person but whatever. It’s like watching dogs wear human clothes. Like, they’re kids. And they are ordering drinks at the bar. Look how cute. They think they’re people.

The kids eventually made it over to the hot tub though. And they smiled for a picture. It was a miracle.

At around 5:00, it was time to head back to the room to get ready for the night. So off we all went. And on the way, we passed the back of the Kids Club. And ugh, look how cute these little chairs are.

Actually eh – looking at that pic, it’s hard to tell the scale. Like, it kind of looks like just regular-sized chairs around a regular-sized pool. But trust me. These chairs were little. Maybe we need something for scale.

Better.

On our way back to our room, we grabbed all the floats to bring back. And that all caused these hijinks to happen in the elevator.

It felt like we were in a high-larious family sitcom. I fully expected Mia to drive the car through the kitchen in the next scene. Or maybe that I would find Tony trapped in a fridge and wish I had paid attention when they were teaching CPR at school today. Or Nickie would become addicted to caffeine pills because she can’t handle being in her girl band, Hot Sundae, AND her upcoming geometry test.

Annnnyways. We made it to the room and as we were getting ready, it was sunset time. To the balcony!

Night 2 was White Night. So we all got to pretend we were brides. At least for a few hours.

And I swear the four of us did pose for a picture. But for some reason, when I went to look at it, it was taken as a video. So I am gonna keep that one to myself. I mean, ever watch a video of someone thinking they were getting their picture taken? The frozen smiles, the standing still. It’s creepy as hell. Add to that we are all wearing white and it looks like some sort of cult indoctrination video.

Before dinner, we were catching a show so I stopped in the bar in at Le Petit Chateau to grab a scotch.

Very sophisticated. Time to take in some high-brow, cultured entertainment at the thee-ay-ter.

I hear Grover is up for a Tony this year.

I kid, of course. On account of I of course love the Sesame Street show. And I mean, I am not the only one…

It’s always a super cute show. And I love seeing all the kids and Larissa get into it. And I LOVE this picture of the kids wearing their Sesame masks with the Sesame characters.

We had 7pm reservations for dinner tonight so it was time to head back to the Caribbean Village. Time was running short so we had to hurry. 6:57pm. I don’t know if we are going to make it. Come on guys, let’s get movi…

Oh, a cat. OK, stop approved.

And feline distractions aside, we did end up making it in time for dinner at Arizona’s, the steakhouse in the Caribbean Village.

Now, last trip, Arizona’s ended up being one of my least favorite meals. I just remember my steak being overcooked and a bit bland. But we decided to give it another go to see if it could be redeemed.

Did Arizona’s deliver this time around? Read on to find out.

The meal started with some housemade chips, guacamole, and salsa.

And I started with a vodka martini (Tito’s….its the best they have), dirty.

MMkay, Arizona’s. Good start so far.

To start, I ordered the Chopped Salad (Tomatoes, iceberg lettuce, cucumbers, peppers, jalapeños, coconut-lime dressing.)

Which was…pretty good actually. The coconut-lime dressing was nice and light and the jalapenos gave the salad some nice spice.

Now, it was time for the entrée. I should also mention we had a bit of a bet going. Since we were all wearing white, the bet was that the first person to get a stain on their white clothes would have to jump in the pool fully dressed. This was a very risky bet as the Goodreaus are notorious shirt-stainers.

So, naturally…I ordered the ribs.

I paired them with the house Cabernet.

I might as well spoil things now. No one got anything on their shirt. No stains. No fully-dressed swimming. Nothing.

I know, anti-climactic. Best. Storyteller. Ever.

As for the food though? The ribs were fall-off-the-bone good. I opted for the ribs because its noted as a signature dish for the restaurant and the steak let me down so much last time. And it was definitely a good choice.

You did it, Arizona’s! You did it!

The kids also all seemed to approve.

For dessert, Nickie and I split the two main choices – a Key Lime Pie…

…and the Pecan Cheesecake. Apologies for the blurriness.

If you find yourself in Arizona’s looking for dessert, I would opt for the Key Lime Pie. The cheesecake was once again a little lacking in flavor. But overall again, the desserts weren’t a big wow here overall.

You know what was a big wow? This chair we passed on the way back to the room. As in, “this chair is BIG, WOW!”

Our original plan was to hit up the Chocolate Buffet for White Night, but by the time dinner officially finished, it was almost over unfortunately. Jeff and Sheila were smart and ducked out early to hit it up. And they said it was great, especially the chocolate martinis. We missed out. But on the bright side? I definitely would have gotten chocolate on my shirt.

When we got back to the Italian Village, we of course hit up the Italian Village bar and ran into the McNallys again and, yeah, it was officially Jess’s birthday.

Which gets a thumbs-up from everyone. Well, except Mia. Who seems to be contemplating giving a thumbs-up, but she isn’t quite there yet.

The Falzones were heading to bed soon…oh wait, maybe that explains the the lack of a thumbs-up from Mia.

…so the rest of the kids headed over to Club Liquid (the teen disco) and then Shadow Lounge (the teen rec area) to hang out for a bit. Actually, that reminded me. I TOTALLY forgot to mention in my Day 1 post that the kids did some karaoke the night before at Club Liquid. Owen sang Buddy Holly by Weezer with Myles and Liam as backup. Myles and Jess did Love Story by T-Swift. And Liam killed it singing Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana.

So proud.

Speaking of, the rest of us adults ALSO hit up some karaoke that night at The Cricketer’s. Also, you’re gonna get sick of the phrase “karaoke at The Cricketer’s” because I am pretty sure from here on out, we did this EVERY NIGHT. Seriously, by the end of the week, my throat was so sore I sounded like Kathleen Turner. And not even Romancing the Stone Kathleen Turner. Like, Friends-level Kathleen Turner.

Worth it.

This particular night, I sang Baby Got Back and my karaoke mainstay Purple Rain. While I swapped other songs out, Purple Rain made it to every performance for me. And weirdly, I never once sang “Purple Wayne.” Such an idiot.

But people brought their A-game tonight. One girl absolutely SLAYED Fergalicious and another KILLED At Last. At Last was so good, Nickie and I ended up dancing to it.

And that’s about it. The kids ended up meeting us back at the room where I regaled them with tales of my performances. You’d think I WAS Prince the way I was going on about it.

Day 2 was a pretty jam-packed Sunday for sure. Thanks for coming along!

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