So it sort of presents some unfortunate juxtaposition to be posting this now, with my Lilo post being my last entry but I am saddened to say we had to say goodbye to our sweet girl, Daisy.
Daisy had battled liver cancer for five monhts, outliving her initial diagnosis but finally succumbed on January 26, 2018.
Towards the end, she had started having trouble laying down and seemed to often stare off into space so we knew the pain was getting to be too much for her. Even the pain medicine wasn’t helping.
So on Friday night, all four of us at with Daisy and made the hard decision that it was her time. None of us wanted her to feel any more pain so the boys and Nickie said their goodbyes.
My mom met me at the house and went with me to the Massachusetts Veterinary Referral Hospital in Woburn, MA.
I won’t get into the details but will say this was the toughest thing I’ve had to go through in a long long time. Saying goodbye to Daisy was necessary I know, but that didn’t make it any easier.
Daisy was a constant presence in the house. Whenever I would walk in the door. Or open the bathroom door after taking a shower. Or coming up from the basement. She was always there.
And even though having Lilo helps, Daisy’s absence is almost louder than her presence.
And that’s just in the house. Everyone in our family. Our friends. The people in our neighborhood. Everyone that met Daisy loved her. I had even begun bringing her to work everyday so now, even there, I feel her not there.
And sometimes I find myself stepping back and wondering, “is this too much? Am I feeling too much?” I mean, after all, she was just a dog right?
But no. She wasn’t just a dog. She was family. She IS family. While we already are so in love with Lilo, no other dog will ever be Daisy.
No other dog will be the dog that grew up with my kids. We got Daisy the year Owen was born. Myles was three. We hardly even know this house without a Daisy in it. We took her home two months after moving in.
Its hard to imagine life without Daisy in it. So that’s a hard part. Because that’s what life is now. Death is so final that it sometimes catches me off guard when I look at the foot of the bed and she’s not there.
But I know the pain we are all feeling will fade. I think that’s harder for the kids to understand at the moment but both Nickie and I have had family members pass before and know that while we will always miss her, those memories will gradually turn from causing tears to inducing smiles.
But for now, I think we all need to be a little sad for a while. We miss you Daisy. And we love you.